standin' at the end of a real long road

When we moved to Kent eleven years ago, I didn't know anyone there. I didn't have a single friend. I tried the ways I knew to make some. I went to a book discussion group. I didn't like it. I went to the fitness center. I didn't like it. What I needed was a job. That's how I have always made friends. And, the fact is, I have always made friends. Wherever I have gone, doggone it, people like me.

My brief stint working at a local public library brought me some friends, but they didn't last beyond my job there. When I started working at the university, however, I finally found some true friends. Friends I laughed and cried with. Friends I got drunk with. Friends I took vacations with. Friends who moved away and left me bereft. Friends who remained my friends even after I left the university five years later, feeling depleted and defeated. Friends who were some of the last people I saw before Ben and I made the big move. Joany, Kristen, Vince, you know who you are, but I want to give you a shout-out here. I love you guys.

Those aren't the only friends I left behind, however. Not by a long shot. When I started working at Miss Chickpea's, my co-workers there became my teachers and my mentors, and to my surprise and delight, my friends. Janet and Kathy and Dianne made it a pleasure to go to work every day, and I was delighted when the orbit of my schedule allowed me to work with each of them over the course of a week. We had fantastic customers at that little shop, and it was a pleasure to see many of them walk through the door, but I would be remiss if I did not single out Amy, who became a true friend to me. Even after the shop suddenly closed, we all remained close, and the knitting groups we attended were full of laughter. I miss you all more than you can know.

When we moved here, I was delighted to realize that there is a yarn shop right here in the town where I live. It was one of the first places Julie and I stopped on one of our outings. I love knitting. I love knitters. Surely here I would find kindred spirits who might some day - with careful nurturing - become my friends. But, you know, I didn't like it there. I didn't like the yarns they carried (too pedestrian) and the staff was not friendly and welcoming in the ways to which I was accustomed. I go back there periodically, but, really, I have plenty of yarn. What I need is friends! And it seems to me that I don't have any friends here because I can't find a job, and I can't find a job here because I don't have any friends. It's a bit of a conundrum.

I try to keep in mind that after we moved to Kent it took me a year and a half to find a job at the university, but I hope it doesn't take me that long here. Because I really need the money, and you know, ya got to have friends.*

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*Yep, they're song lyrics, kiddies. From Bette Midler's debut album, The Divine Miss M. I must have listened to that album a thousand times, and probably could still sing every song on it, but these are the lyrics that keep running through my mind:


But you got to have friends
The feeling's oh so strong
You got to have friends
To make that day last long

I had some friends but they're gone
Someone came and took them away
And from the dusk 'til the dawn
Here is where I'll stay

I'm standin' at the end of a real long road
And I'm waiting for my new friends to come
I don't care if I'm hungry or freezing (freezing) cold
I've got to get me some

going to the chapel...

I went to a wedding last weekend with my friend, Kristen. Our good friend, Vince, married his long-time sweetie, Kristin, on a beautiful fall afternoon. I love going to weddings, especially when I know that the bride and groom are absolutely meant for each other, and I am confident about their happily-ever-after.

Kristin wore a beautiful ivory wedding gown and a tiara, and she looked like a real princess. Vince was dashing in an ivory tux, and their 18-month-old daughter, Skyler, was in ivory, as well; the skirt of her little dress was many layers of tulle, like a ballerina's. What a beautiful family they are.

I most especially wanted to see the look on Vince's face as he watched Kristin walk up the aisle towards him, and it brought tears to my eyes, as I knew it would. After the service, Skyler waved to her parents as they walked, newly-married, back down the aisle.

We had a great time at the reception, in spite of getting hopelessly lost multiple times on the way there. I am not exaggerating when I say that I think our very first turn out of the church parking lot took us in the wrong direction. But we got there. We got there.

Over the years we have known Vince, Kristen and I have often wondered (frequently to his face) why he had never married. Now we know. He was waiting for Kristin. Good things are worth waiting for.

so far, so good

Well, it's Friday and the end of my third week at home, so I thought this might be a good time to re-examine my feelings about leaving my job. First of all, it's raining out. I mean really raining. As it has just about every day this month. I have to time Rufus' walks in between downpours. But, you know what? I don't care. Honestly, I don't care at all. When it's not raining, it's too hot for me to spend much time outside, anyway, so let it rain.

I am eating much healthier than I was, and I am drinking lots of water. I am taking Rufus on the aforementioned walks, but I haven't found the nerve yet to go down and see if the treadmill is indeed on the fritz again, as Julie reported before she left. (I fear that it is.) So my new health regimen is still intact, and I am keeping in mind the wise words of my daughter-in-law, Kristy: "Think of any new lifestyle change like driving a car. Sometimes you get off to the side and you're in the gravel and your tendency is to overcompensate. But just like driving a car, if you over compensate, you're bound to swerve and eventually crash." (Kristy added really hysterical comments of her own, which I edited out. You can read them on her comment to my post "begin the way you mean to go.")

I had dinner a couple of nights ago with my friends Joany and Kristen. *shout out to Joany and Kristen* We had a great time. They are both fellow escapees from my former oppressive work environment. Joany transferred to a different department on campus, and Kristen spent six weeks this summer on an archaeological dig. Joany had only worked with us for a couple of years before she left, but Kristen and I had worked together for almost the entire five years I was there. Her leaving the department was one of the many reasons I couldn't stand to work there any longer.

Needless to say, we were discussing how happy we were to be gone. Kristen raised an interesting point: "You know, I don't miss it there at all. I thought I would really miss it, but I don't." I don't miss it either. That surprises me a bit. I will say I do miss some of the people I worked with there. People I would consider more friends than co-workers, and if you are reading this, you know who you are.

All in all, so far it's good. Really good, in fact. Remind me again why I will have to find another job at some point?